How to Support a Friend or Loved One with Mental Illness

Freddy Murphy

Beyond the Blues

It can be difficult being supportive when someone has a mental illness. You know you can be at a loss for words or afraid that you will either say something you shouldn’t know or say something inappropriate. But being present—a gentle, respectful, and regular presence—can make all the difference. Even when you can do nothing about their pain, you can be present amid strength, comfort, and comprehension. It’s in being supportive and never inappropriately bursting individual boundaries.

One of the most helpful things you can do if someone has mental health needs is listen in a nonjudgmental way. So frequently, individuals with mental health needs do not necessarily need solutions—they need someone to hold their attention. Respond to both statements like, “Sounds very tough,” or “I’m with you,” but do not offer solutions too early. Allow them time to process and evolve at their own pace, without pressure or intrusion into topics they may or may not wish to discuss. Trust can be earned through patient discernment.

Another hands-on way to assist is by promoting healthy habits and companionship. Ask them for a walk, cook them something healthy, or suggest small things they can do that can brighten their mood. Be there in day-to-day stuff in case they are bogged down, but never ask first – “Would it help if I…” rather than do it all themselves. Be thoughtful about their independence by recognizing that all good things can be perceived as bossy if they aren’t explicitly stated. Your role is to stand beside them and not take the lead from them. Lastly, know your limit. You don't have to know it all or carry someone else's burden. Suggest seeking the help of professionals when the time arrives, and don't hesitate to draw boundaries when their problem begins to impact your health and wellness. Caring about others starts with caring for yourself as well.

Lastly, being supportive and in love with someone who has a mental illness involves being there in a steady, nonjudgmental, and respectful manner. Details—such as texting a simple hello, sitting in silence together, or simply being together—are often adequate. Arriving with tolerance and empathy communicates to them that they matter and they don't have to face this alone; it can be one of the most therapeutic things you can ever say.

Works Cited:

Mental Health Foundation. “How to Support Someone with a Mental Health Problem.” Www.mentalhealth.org.uk, Mental Health Foundation, 2022, www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/articles/how-support-someone-mental-health-problem.

Minds, Young. “Supporting a Friend with Their Mental Health.” YoungMinds, www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/supporting-a-friend-with-their-mental-health/.

“Worried about Someone Else’s Mental Health.” HSE.ie, www2.hse./mental-health/helping-someone-else/worried-about-someones-mental-health/.